What does being socially fit look like?

When we are socially healthy we have the right quantity and quality of relationships to meet our need for social connection.  

Our social health is unique to us. As humans, we all need some degree of meaningful connection, but there are huge variations in what that looks like. There’s no rule about how many friends you should have or what your sense of community should feel like.

Here are some ways to think about your social health.

Our relationship fields

We all have different relationship “fields”. These fields range in proximity from those closest to us through to our widest sense of connection with the society we live in and humanity more broadly. At the centre of all the fields all is our relationship with ourselves.

Each field serves a different purpose and meets different needs in us. For instance, close friendships - wonderful as they are - cannot substitute for a sense of community. And while you would not share your deepest secrets with your weak connections, they are frequently the source of new ideas and opportunities.

All the fields brings out different aspects of who we are, requiring different skills and behaviours (think of how differently we behave amongst our family versus amongst strangers). While you may be very strong in one field, you may struggle with others.

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We can also think about what our relationship fields bring us and how we engage with them.

For example:

FUNCTIONAL

Having people in your life who…

  • You can turn to when you need practical support - Like when you move flat or become sick

  • You can confide in when you face emotional challenges - Like relationship issues, an ethical dilemma

  • You can celebrate life’s good moments with - A birthday, a work triumph, some good news

  • You feel share your worldview and values - A sense of belonging and solidarity

  • You know value and appreciate you for who you are - A sense of feeling seen and needed

SKILLS-BASED

For example, being able to…

  • Confidently talk to strangers

  • Make - and maintain - connections and friendships

  • Disagree well

  • Flex your relationship style in different settings, while remaining true to yourself

  • Remember people's names

  • Find common ground with people from different backgrounds

HABIT AND PRACTICE

The way your lifestyle supports your social health:

  • Your diary and routine reflects your relationship priorities

  • Your online communications reinforce your offline encounters

  • You have rituals and routines that provide a solid social scaffolding in your calendar

  • In the main, you keep the social commitments you make

Powerful socio-economic forces are at play in determining our relationships - like who is made to feel like they ‘belong’ in a community or society, who we encounter in our neighbourhood or through education, and who can afford to spend time with others.

But there is a lot that we can do by ourselves and within our relationship circles to ensure these forces do not dictate our social health.

How The Social Gym can support you

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